The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
