ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
