He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
