I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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