Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize