wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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