No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I touched a dick in church today
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize