did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize