There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
