Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So vagazzling was a success
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
