We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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