Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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