So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
