this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
