aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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