sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
