i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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