Me too!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
