If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
