I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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