my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
