doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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