He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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