So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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