Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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