I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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