Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
