I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
