I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
