My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
