all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
