i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
