i permit you to call me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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