I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well you can't waste a boner
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
