So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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