Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
