I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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