I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do vagina's smell?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You were trust falling into bushes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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