No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
