...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize