I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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