Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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