She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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