Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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