the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
