I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
