She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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