Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
