and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize