maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
