Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
