He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
