Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
