I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up under a house in Key West
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