Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
