no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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