Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize