I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
home. puking in laundry basket.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
