Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
