Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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