Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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