I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
