stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Randomize
